Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Monday, 9 January 2012

Male Organ Size: Homosexuality, Economy and Uganda’s Domestic Relations Bill


 
Friends,
The demand by Uganda women to have a clause in the Domestic Relations Bill that allows them to divorce men with bigger organs is something interesting because it confuses one on what exactly women want. This bill has got a lot of controversial stuff in it but let me concentrate on this issue for now to see if it makes sense to people out there.

I’m afraid I look at this issue in different ways but either way, I think when people decide to get married, these are some of the things they should be ready to put up with. It will be a travesty to marriage if people start divorcing each other because either of their sexual organs has ballooned for some reason. It can only make sense if the divorce is asked when the relationship is at its early stages because there it can be argued that the person did not know exactly what they were getting themselves into, but not when the relationship has been there for a long time. People should learn to appreciate certain things about each other outside the bedroom, and I believe it is what has kept our grandfathers in marriage for ages.

Penis size and economy

Some research shows how strongly the average sizes of male organ were associated with GDPs of various countries between 1960 and 1985 according to a paper presented by Tatu Westling of the University of Helsinki in 2011. It was argued here that the average size [the erect length, to be precise] of male organ in population has a strong predictive power of economic development during the period. The exact causality can only be speculated at this point but the correlations are robust. The `male organ hypothesis’ put forward here suggests that penises carry economic significance.

Male organ was found to experience an inverted U-shaped relationship with GDP in 1985. The GDP-maximizing length was identified at around 13.5 centimeters. One striking result is the collapse in GDP after male organ exceeds the length of 16 centimeters. At that time, it was noted that countries where men have penises below 12 centimeter were less developed and these were mainly the Asian countries. Let’s leave Africa out of this argument for reasons I will explain below.

The average growth rates from 1960 to 1985 were found to be negatively correlated with the sizes of male organs: unit centimeter increase in its physical dimension was found to reduce GDP growth by 5 to 7% between 1960 and 1985. Furthermore, quite remarkable was the finding that male organ alone could explain 20% of the between-country variation in GDP growth rates between 1960 and 1985.

The physical dimension of male organ varies considerably across countries, the average being 14.5 centimeters. For example, South Korea and Zaire [now Dem. Rep. of the Congo] have average sizes of 9.66 and 17.93 centimeters, respectively according to everyoneweb.com on the link http://www.everyoneweb.com/worldpenissize/. France’s average size is 16.1 centimeters while that of UK is 13.9 centimeters. To be honest, I don’t know how these guys got all these results but the figures here are interesting.

Now Africa is still poor compared to other continents yet it is well known that men of all long and big sizes come from there. The researchers put this down to other factors other than the size of the penis, i.e. poor political governance, diseases, malnutrition and regular conflicts on the continent. But then again, may be our current leaders have got smaller penises and that is why we are in this mess. I wish there is a way we can find out about this to test this theory. May be if we all chip in and bribe the first ladies on the continent, it will make this research a bit easier. But if this argument is true, then it looks like the Americans may get out of recession soon if they stick with Barack Obama in the White House for a second term running.
Bill Frist
May be this argument may have helped Obama become a president in the first place following a report compiled in 2006 by some newspaper about the penis sizes of Republicans. A reporter was allegedly able to obtain medical records of over 100 leading politicians and Cabinet members in Washington. Condoleezza Rice was asked what a good penis size was and how it might affect the female vote in the elections. Ms Rice stretched her fingers to indicate a good size and it was apparent that most of the men among the Republicans did not measure up. She thought as far as the female vote was concerned, it would hurt them. Bill Friest, Republican United States Senator representing Tennessee, spoke up and said “His wife said that size did not matter and he thought most women felt this way”. Ms Rice responded “What women say and what women want are two different things”. Friest apparently looked puzzled by her response. The rest is history because Republicans indeed lost the elections to democrats.

However, it has been found that there is no coleration between a man’s height and the length of his penis. Why many women still think “height” is more important than other physical features of males, I guess we will never know. Put height together with penis size, for example, and explain the aesthetics and beauty that some women use in mate selection. For instance, average heights did increase between 1750 and 1875 among European populations because of improvements in diets and increases in intakes of calories but this did not necessarily reflect an increase in their penis heights. Indeed the evidence that dimensions of body parts and penile lengths are correlated is mixed. Also there is no evidence to suggest that a man’s shoe size and penile length are related.

Homosexuality

A columnist in USA wrote in 2006 on website World Net Daily that use of soy products leads to reduced penis size and higher rates of male homosexuality. I guess scientists are still trying to find out why some people claim to be gay since their childhood after findings revealed in 1980s that higher testosterone levels among gay men are as often as among heterosexuals. In 1984 Heino Meyer-Bahlburg, a neurobiologist at Columbia University, analyzed the results of twenty-seven studies undertaken to test the hormone theory which used to be claimed by some people as explanation for being gay. He found that there is no difference between the testosterone or estrogen levels of homosexual and heterosexual men.

This columnist wrote that when you feed your baby soy formula, you’re giving him or her equivalent of five birth control pills a day. A baby’s endocrine system just can’t cope with that kind of massive assault, so some damage is inevitable. At the extreme, the damage can be fatal.

He also revealed that Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products.

To carry that theory a little further, maybe penis size is the reason for gay men not having normal relationships with women; they are embarrassed by the size of their members. Therefore, those who systematically engage in anal sex have smaller than normal penises, affording their partners less damage. It is a fact that many men obsess over penis size, weaker minded males often engage in transference.

So guys, it looks like penis size does not really matter in anything depending where you are standing. I guess my Chinese friends would say: ‘Dude, the only one who has an issue about your penis size is you and the brainless ladies in Uganda. I have enough on my mind with trying to figure out how to become a superpower, calculating different responses I get from Americans by supporting dictators in Africa, and trying to fit in enough time for sleep and work, which I wish I had the luxury of time to think about what size penis you have. I really don’t have that time, so it looks like I’m out of luck.’’

Anyway, the bottom line is that this issue should be carefully looked at when writing the final piece of the Domestic Relations Bill. Think about it: a chap in Australia killed his wife after she teased him about his penis size and this is something that may cause problems for us in future if we put such issues on a paper. This is a genuine Australian case, but even as a hypothetical one, it’s interesting.
Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba
United Kingdom

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Murphy's Laws on Sex

Murphy's Laws on Sex

  1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feeling.
  2. Nothing improves with age.
  3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
  4. Sex has no calories.
  5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
  6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
  7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
  8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
  9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
  10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
  11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
  12. Virginity can be cured.
  13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
  14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
  15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
  16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
  17. It is always the wrong time of month.
  18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
  19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
  20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
  21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
  22. The younger the better.
  23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
  24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
  25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
  26. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
  27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
  28. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
  29. Love is a hole in the heart.
  30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
  31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
  32. Do it only with the best.
  33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
  34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
  35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
  36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
  38. Thou shalt not commit adultery... unless in the mood.
  39. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
  40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
  41. Never argue with a women when she's tired- or rested.
  42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
  43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
  44. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
  45. Never say no.
  46. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
  47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
  48. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
  49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
  50. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
  51. Love comes in spurts.
  52. The world does not revolve on an axis.
  53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
  54. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
  55. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
  56. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
  57. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
  58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
  59. "This won't hurt, I promise."