As a good christian I would start by greeting you in the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost.
Comimng straight to the gist of my communication, glory be to the almighty that I can have this chance of jotting down a few lines on the mystery that has surrounded your person in the recent past.I know am the last person you would like to hear from at this crucial time and that is exactly the factor that has propelled me to jot down a few points to you.I can say that the news of your stand off with your half brother and subsquent house arrest reached us with great shock although not surprising and we send our heartfelt sympathy to you for the way you were manhandled by the boys guarding your dear brother especially considering the fact that , you had taken a glass too many of malakwang at the time.
General, I was particulary pertubed recently to read in our beloved newspaper REDPEPPER that you have decided to join our next of kin in the forest,the other primates and I guess the force behind your sojourn there is nostalgia, the nostalgia of your bush days with your big brother and others when discipline was the order of the day, nostalgia of the bush days when greed and corruption were your biggest enemies unlike today when they have been embraced and welcomed in your posh homes in Nakaseero, Kololo, Muyenga, Mbuya ..name it. I can understand when rumour goes around that you were to host a conference of NGO on food security, and I thank you that the only items that were put on display in that forest were only papyrus baskets, beads and jewelly, This I understand that you were afraid that our next of kin the monkeys of the forest who are starviving like your fellow Ugandans you left in the civilised precincts of Uganda and could have pounced on the displayed foodstuffs and stolen them.
On the other hand it could have been that you wanted to demonstrate that there was food shortage in Uganda and hence only display the uneatable items only, I thank you for that bravery and patriotism. On your new home in form of metallic containers, that was a masterpiece show of disgust with the way corruption was eating the country and you wanted to sympathise with the homeless and slum dwellers of Uganda by living in conditions similar to theirs. Thank you again for that expression of solidarity. And I also would like to thank you for being so security conscious and maintaining the oath of secrecy by not releasing the name of a single NGO that attended your food security symposium, and also for your resolve to keep away all silly journalists belonging to other news organisations and even local radio stations but stuck to the one and only , RED PEPPER a newspaper that is so close to your heart from the day you launched it in 2001.
Lastly I would like to thank you for coming out bold and telling your big brother that come the year 2016, he will be out of town, and it was more reassuring to hear you saying that you would even consider dropping into his shoes if it became real necessary, we keep our fingers croossed on that. What I also would want to note here is your outburst that , you could have caused more mayhem in Kampala during the recent W2W confrontations if you had been in command, on this I can only end by reminding you that the International Criminal Court is still occupying its place in our hearts and the no nonsense Mr. Ocampo has his venom positioned in his fangs to get a good grip of your neck in case, you wake up from your dream and put it into reality.
Next time try the carribean spices and I can assure you that, then we may enjoy your Tofu even better without redpepper mixture,TOM OKWALNIGA
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Rehema
Patriot in Kampala,East Africa
When the boot of government is on your neck,it doesn't matter if it's left or right. Today is Buganda and Besigye, tomorrow is some one else.
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